Personal Passions Meets Professional Persona Tales of Integration

When my boss dropped the unexpected bombshell of wanting to guest on our podcast to discuss the representation of women and minorities in tech, it sparked an eye-opening dialogue about the tightrope walk of personal branding versus professional image. It's a candid journey through the stories and complexities of intertwining our personal passions with our day jobs. We ponder whether this meshing can unlock doors for authentic connections or if it risks unraveling the carefully woven fabric of our work personas. Plus, we navigate the tricky terrain of social media policies, considering how they shape our online personas while juggling the need to stay genuine to who we are.

The plot thickens as we share tales of personal interests like gaming acting as a catalyst for forging friendships beyond the confines of the professional sphere. I open up about a heartwarming transition from customer interactions to a personal bond over shared hobbies, highlighting the unanticipated warmth gaming can bring into our work relationships. We also chuckle over the quirks of online gaming personas and mull over the significance of curating an online presence that honors the crossroads of our professional and personal lives. Join us for a straightforward glimpse into the delights and challenges entwined in the art of harmonizing our work and personal spheres, all while keeping our virtual and real-world identities in sync.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Turning off normal human male mode. Switching to dad mode. Welcome in to dad mode With your hosts Bearded, Nova and Morph.

Speaker 2: 0:18

Um, so I had an interesting conversation at work today. So I had an interesting conversation with at work today. Um had to get in extra early because my bosses, bosses, boss, wanted to talk and we're on zoom. My laptop wasn't working so I had to use my phone and my phone doesn't allow you to do virtual background. So I'm sitting here and virtual background you know, you can see the sound proofing and stuff in the back, yeah, and she's like what's that behind you? I'm like I couldn't think of anything else clever to say so I'm like it's soundproofing, because sometimes I do podcasts. She's like, oh really, I'm like here we go, yeah, sometimes I do podcasts.

Speaker 2: 1:00

And she didn't ask what it was and I didn't volunteer. But then she said, hey, you know, I would love to be on your podcast sometime if you wanted to talk about having a career in technology aimed at, you know, women and minorities. You know, and I'm like sure we can talk about that. You know, I will let you know. But that brings the question, or dilemma. I have, for four years, kept this side of me completely separate from work, like nobody knows what I do. You're lucky, and I'm like it would be really cool for our growth as a show to have her on there, because she's going to tell a lot of people and they're going to listen and they're going to download back episodes and they're going to tell other people, or I'll get fired, um, but if they, if I don't get fired all of the nights, a lot of new listeners, right, and.

Speaker 2: 1:55

But I'm like I work so hard to keep you separate for a reason because I want this to just be me but like what? Would you do nova.

Speaker 3: 2:03

I've I've had it. It's oddly enough I don't know, I don't know why and I still come across one of my assistants. Ages ago she'd come out with me on site to meet a couple of people, and I'm in construction industry. So, in a way, very what's the type of word I'm looking for? You've got to be a particular type of person, I guess, in a way to handle what goes on, that it, uh, in a way it's a minority, but it's very pig-headed, I guess, over what you can and cannot do and the type of person you are outside of work. And she's been with me and we've gone to these sites and someone's made, you know, oh yeah, you get those guys to just play video games when they're not working and I'm just quiet, I'm like, yeah, I know what you mean and just leave. I don't bring up, I don't cross the boundaries, I'm like that. And I actually have like two sides of me where one side people don't know anything, that's the type person me and then there's the actual me, where that's really what I want to be doing.

Speaker 3: 3:13

And, yes, sadly, on this journey, somewhere along the lines, some of my socials got crossed in a way. It's like. It's like they kind of started. Hey, this is a friend or this is a contact you have in your phone and started trying to push uh me as a content creator to people that I know in the industry. So there are people that now know.

Speaker 3: 3:40

But it's you know, I show up and go that bearded no video. The other day I'm like, ah yeah, it's been all right, it's been negative. I actually did get a little bit of negativity from work at one stage for it, yep, ages ago, and that was around. The idea is what's more important, tiktok or work, which you know, know, that's a story in itself, but the long story short was, neither was impacting the other, even though I may have had, you know, a part of my collar showing or there may have been a company logo in the background and you would never know that I worked with a company. But to them I was breaching a social media policy in doing that. So I actually had to hide videos until after I left. Some of them were educational videos like that. They weren't. They were. They're educational for content creators about balancing both um or I was.

Speaker 3: 4:43

I recorded something at the end of the day or early in the morning from my car when I'm waiting for something. You know. No company logo again, but they know that that was my company car and that that was my shirt. No one other viewers knew, but they knew, so they took it the opposite way. But, that being said, we were both in a bad place. I was pissed off at them, yeah, they were pissed off at me being pissed off at them. They were looking for, looking for something to be upset yeah, but the majority of the time it's gone down good.

Speaker 3: 5:16

I don't think I've come across any changes personally or professionally from that boundary being crossed. I know the the great day where I was going to shave my beard off if we raised over a thousand dollars for uh, movember, um, which we didn't kept the beard, but a couple of people at my old work, you heard about it, so they were actually going to start trying to quickly round up people to to get that money because they want to see me in a professional sense, without my beard, um. So it's been positive and negative. I haven't had too many negatives, but it just scares you. It does scare you. It makes you think about everything you've posted, or what you've done and what they've seen. What was, what was the first thing they saw. You know what I mean, right.

Speaker 2: 6:08

Yeah, yeah, um, it's, it's, it is. Um, it definitely makes you think twice, you know. And it's not that I'm really a different person, you know, behind the camera than I am at work. It's just I'm a lot more casual. I'm just I don't have to try to be professional or be something, and I get concerned that seeing me say whatever and do whatever, even though I would say like I don't do anything crazy, you know, um, it's still, it's not who I am at the job. Like I have a senior management position at my job, yeah, and I I feel like if they saw me doing crazy shit on stream, they'd be like, well, you can't go any higher, because this is you know what you do, and like I don't want. I'm not saying that that would happen, but I get worried that that would be an a negative outcome to it.

Speaker 3: 7:01

You know I when we're in a good place. It's a social media thing like my at the old, old job. Um, my manager knew that I did streaming and bits and pieces and he would actually ask me questions about it. Like hey, yeah, um, yeah, when we talk about things about oh, yeah, nah, but this I look, you know, show him a picture of you know a box of food that showed up at my house or something, or you know bits of you know merchandise or whatever I was getting sent to me, I would show him bits and pieces. When he'd ask me, he's like, oh, that's cool, did you get this for you know? How'd you do that?

Speaker 3: 7:40

It's like, oh, I've worked hard, I get more, more viewers. More viewers means more people are willing to work with you, etc. Like we had brief conversations about it and it was, it was cool. Some people get really interested in it and especially when you start, oddly enough and probably you would find it eventually you're talking in a business sense, like you and I talk about content creation in a business sense because that's, you know, both very business focused and that's way to kind of bring co-workers in. When you talk about in a, in a professional stance, they take it a little bit more serious. Not just you know you sitting in you know pajamas, eating a bag of doritos splash mountain drew over your face in a couch all weekend like that's not you.

Speaker 2: 8:35

When you start talking about professional, like oh hold on, there's another level to this and I never actually thought existed yeah, and and I think that's what the perception would be if I said, hey, I was a streamer or I am a streamer. They'd be like thinking that same things in the basement Cheetos all over the place. But they don't realize, as you know, that I created basically a consulting business. I didn't really have employees, I wasn't paying people, but I had people working with me doing stuff that I do. But planning and doing all the stuff that I do at my job and trying to teach people the business side of how to do content creation, how to think of it like I.

Speaker 2: 9:14

I at the time I even said if somebody from my job saw this, that would probably look really good to them because I'm using my, I'm showing them a version of my skill set which I don't always get to show at work, because you have a role and I'm being very professional with what I'm doing and so like, and I think that part is good. But it's still like I have to be careful the negative stereotype, because everybody hears those, those horror stories in the news where you know someone's social media got found out and then they got fired. It's usually because they had only fans, which I do not have, only fans just saying but I don't want to take the risk, you know.

Speaker 3: 9:56

I've done those videos in the past, especially around PAX and TwitchCon. I used to do videos around selling yourself as an individual and marketing yourself because I'm in sales in a competitive, very competitive industry. So I understand there's a point of not just handing out a business card. When you're at TwitchCon to a booth and saying, yeah, I'd like to work with you, you're probably going to be ignored unless you have a massive following already. So how do you make yourself stand out against a dozen other people that are, or more than a dozen, you know a couple hundred people that are all going to give this one person at a booth a business card with their name on it? Yeah, probably means just going to go into a bag and then forgotten about. And he gets home from his hot you know from twitch co on a week later and puts the bag down, goes off, does some work and that, and then three months later he's digging into his bag for something else and he might pull your card out because your card was left um, you know, didn't come out with the first few thousand he pulled out. So yeah, it's, it's different nowadays.

Speaker 3: 11:09

I haven't had a crossover in ages. The biggest crossover between work and this side actually was only a week ago and it was one of customers I've known for years, um, a friend, one of my customers, my friends. If you say customer, they're a friend in a way, because a relationship built over a long period of time, so they're definitely not a customer anymore. Um, in case anyone ever hears that, I just wanted to know they are my friends, they have my personal numbers. They met my wife, half met my children, um, but he actually told me he was sick, he goes, I don't come near me. I was sick. I said don't worry, I've got a child in daycare. We're constantly sick at my house.

Speaker 3: 11:54

We were talking and it was about Easter and going away and I said what do you want to do? Have you got any plans? He goes, I've got to go away with the family, but it would be alright if I'm sick, because I just brought a new desktop PC and I've downloaded a ton of games and I'd like to spend the weekend at home gaming. I'm like never knew. You know what I mean. Like it probably was a thing for him to say that to me as well. So you know, the next time I talk to him oh yeah, you know you should check out this game, that type of thing. So we've got to. You know it's kind of good in a way, because you don't as much as you're afraid of what people will think about you. Chances are people have got the same type of secret, similar secret, that they don't want you to know either. They're afraid about what you would think about them as well.

Speaker 2: 12:43

And our secret really is we like to have fun, that's our secret. We like to have fun, that's our secret.

Speaker 3: 12:51

we like to have fun and entertain people. I don't want to do. I want to do something different. I want to continue that. I still look at it. What does it look like in 20 years? Will I still be gaming in 20 years? Will I still want to be looking at the family going? I just want to go into my little office and play a game for ages. I know a couple of older gamers I see on Steam and they don't play many games but they play one or two games, one in particular. The only game I ever see him play is Age of Empires 2. And he's been doing that for like 20 years and I'm like good on ya.

Speaker 3: 13:26

Good on ya, you're retired.

Speaker 2: 13:31

You got nothing else'm gonna go in and play major empires 2 for a bit, like nice, like I imagine I. I will never stop gaming, you know. But I probably won't be playing call of duty in 20 years because my reaction time will be way too bad, no, way too bad there's some.

Speaker 3: 13:45

There's some really good older games nowadays.

Speaker 2: 13:48

I'm not one of them. I'm not one of them, although you know what's funny is. So I was playing with another guy, a friend of mine, who he's over 50. And so, in call of duty, you can make a clan tag. I was like, well, let's make ours AARP, which is the American association of retired persons, which I just thought was funny because, and now, when we kill someone, they're like they look up and they're like I was just killed by a senior citizen. Now, I'm not a senior citizen, but I just think it's fucking funny, I just think we just thought it was hilarious to do that.

Speaker 3: 14:19

So, um, you probably don't know you're probably not a lawyer, though, either. There's probably other people that have similar tags I well, I.

Speaker 2: 14:27

It's funny. I saw someone a few days later who had the same tag. Yes, because somebody else with the same sense of humor, yes, we could be friends, friend request that's the thing you know.

Speaker 2: 14:38

Uh, going back to um, you know we're talking about crossover there. So when, when my boss's boss's boss said that to me, I'm like, oh, that'd be cool. Oh, my god, what do I have out there on social? What? What do I have out? Because on social, what do I have out there? You gotta assume that they're gonna look right. So I went in. First thing I did is I just for the podcast. I went into the podcast and I added my actual name into the bio and stuff like that, and then I deleted the thing that says find all my links here. And then I went to Twitter and I went to YouTube and TikTok to leave the link to all my other socials. They're not out there. Twitter, I didn't rename it officially, but I have my name is in there and you're not going to look for things if you don't know my regular handle. You know what I mean. I think it's pretty safe. Oh, and I like I set tiktok to like friends. Only.

Speaker 2: 15:35

You know I I try to clean it up because you know it's a big deal for us if, if we get, when we get guests, especially like guests that you know can lead to some good things. Now I feel like I need to now.

Speaker 3: 15:48

I need the extra step. I like it. I want to you say that, and I'm thinking about my tiktok in particular, because that's a, that's a roller coaster of a tiktok, oh geez yours, yeah, yeah yeah, you don't know what you're going to get there.

Speaker 3: 16:01

And the first video that's actually pinned? Yeah is it. Is it turkey? No, so like that's not. That's that's actually pinned. Yeah, is it turkey? No, so like that's not tagged. If I need that, that's a mission for me to find it. Yeah, that turkey tits is down the bottom. It's actually me doing a first trap with an OnlyFans girl and then me slapping my ass telling people to follow me on Twitch.

Speaker 2: 16:28

That's it. Oh, is it where it's her?

Speaker 3: 16:29

and then it transitions to you. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 16:30

And I freaking hate that one. Yeah, that's the first time I saw it, I didn't notice your handle and I'm watching it for scientific purposes and the next thing I know I'm vomiting.

Speaker 3: 16:43

So I was like thanks, spirited, but that's what's pinned. That's my pinned video. It's that's what's pinned. That's that's my pin video. Like it's that. It's that a video, uh, trailer for the merch site and then something else, but like that is the number one video that's tagged. I'm like I don't have to go at some point it's too hilarious to remove it, but I can't right now.

Speaker 2: 17:04

I'm not ready yep, I think I think the one. I think I only have one video pinned on tiktok and it's the one where I was telling console streamers how they can, who only have a console, how they can stream, and I made it in 2021, yeah, and it gets hundreds of views every single like month, every single month.

Speaker 3: 17:27

Still, and it's almost three years old, the people asking me questions on it still the video that pops up for me, that I'm still getting views on a month like an educational video sense wasn't even educational. It is, but it's not. It was a reply to another streamer trying to work out tiktok, tiktok Live and how to stream to it. Once and it was me saying, hey, with TikTok Live you can actually stream horizontally. So if you just capture your OBS and push that straight into TikTok Live, you can stream both places at once and change on your stream deck and have different streams and you don't have to worry about it. People still loving that video, like it's like. People are still actively trying to figure out tiktok live and people are still yeah, now we got atem. You know, I mean, if you've got a steam, there's so many other ways to do it. People are still actually liking the advice that I gave ages ago for an old workaround bye.

Speaker 2: 18:32

Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's weird um. On youtube, my most popular video that gets views is a was 90 second video, or two minute video, yeah, of me showing how to stream um in portrait through stream labs, and I made that in 2020, so solid four years ago. Yeah, um, and. And they're like oh, my god, thank you, this saved me so much time and I'm like this is like what. Am I the only one out there that did this? Like, how are you even finding it like I? It blows my mind.

Speaker 3: 19:10

Yeah, but I mean it's yeah, I probably should look at my own TikTok. Really Look at your TikTok. People Go back and look at your old social posts. Yeah, yeah, Friendly reminder for this episode.

Speaker 2: 19:22

We started this conversation off talking about, you know, blending that line between you know your real life and your online life. You know it will, and maybe in another episode we'll talk about how far you should go. Maybe we'll have a guest on here talking about names and whatnot, but I think you really. I mean there's no right or wrong answer, no, what makes you feel comfortable, it comes down to like. What do you feel comfortable with?

Speaker 3: 19:50

Yeah, yeah, that's exactly right. How much do you wish to share? What do you feel comfortable with? And then I mean don't feel ashamed with what you do. Yeah, you shouldn't feel ashamed in your own content, really. And if you do feel ashamed with your content, then why are you posting it? Like, if you're not happy with it, don't, don't post it, obviously, but you shouldn't be ashamed of the content you've created, whether it's got hundreds of views, thousands of views or tens of views, because at the end of the day, if you're proud of it, that's all that matters.

Speaker 2: 20:31

Yeah, and I will say I would have left it there. But I just thought of a couple more things is depending on the kind of content you make and I'm not shaming, I think anyone can do whatever you want, as long as it's legal. For content. There was a story, uh, in the last six months, of a, a politician in the united states who's married to a lawyer, and and they were on one of those like webcam sex sites. Oh, you know, doing consensual married couple doing, you know, performing for people who are watching and their careers got ruined because it got leaked. Somebody recognized them and it got leaked and it ruined their careers, you know, so be careful. And then there's like a smaller story very recent is a young woman that worked at like a chick-fil-a and she, the customer, was like as videotaping or recording. Videotaping I'm 90, sorry recording her um and the way she said chick-fil-a sauce, you know, went viral.

Speaker 2: 21:30

People loved it and then chick-fil-a fired her what yeah, so, like you know, you got to be careful, sometimes like blood blooding that line between your real life and your your in your online life, um. But if you're comfortable with the content you make and people knowing about it, then then do it. Put it out there, let people know it'll help you grow. Most likely I was going to put out there.

Speaker 3: 21:58

Most people would have a HR policy. Just check that. If you're in a doubt, check that. Usually nine times out of ten they don't want you speaking on behalf of the company or do something that could reflect on the company's image in a negative way. As long as you don't cross social boundaries, they've got no real grounds to. I'm not a lawyer, but technically they shouldn't have any real grounds to fire you unless you've done something horrible.

Speaker 2: 22:27

And that's why I've kept it quiet.

Speaker 2: 22:29

I mean not only because I want to.

Speaker 2: 22:31

I have a, an image to maintain at my job, and here's me just being me, yeah Right, but I, my, paul, my work policy is the same thing Like if you, if I, were to mention the company's name or say something authoritative, invoking the company's name, as if I was, I could, I was authorized to speak on that, even though I worked there.

Speaker 2: 22:52

There's a lot of things I'm not authorized to speak on, you know, but if I did anything like that, then that would be grounds, I can guarantee you without a shadow of a doubt, for the thousands and thousands of hours that I have for videos and live streams and stuff that I've done. I have not once mentioned the city that I work in or the name of the company, not even the industry that I work in. I've talked about what I do as a, as a job, like I work in technology, but that's as far as I go. In that way, I'm pretty sure that I haven't violated our policy, but I still haven't had to this point. I've been playing it fairly safe and not using my real name at all.

Speaker 3: 23:31

Yeah, yeah, I was like we'll touch on that. Other day I got a perfect guest in mind, someone we need to bring on volve to talk about the name thing and uh, yeah, I want to. I want to talk about using your real name in the future yeah, I do, I do too you've been listening to Dad Mode.

Speaker 1: 23:54

Our passion is navigating this wild journey of parenthood and modern life, from balancing family time to managing your career and still squeezing in some gaming and content creation. And no matter what the women say, they will never be able to pry the controller out of our cold dead hands. Anyway, we hope you enjoyed the show. If you did, find us on Twitter, tiktok and YouTube at DadModePodcast and we can be found on every podcast site at DadModePodcast. Y'all be cool. See you next time.