Tales and Tactics from the Trenches with Red Rose

Have you ever wondered what happens when the serene world of gaming meets the uproarious adventure of parenting? In our latest episode, we sit with the fantastic mom and accomplished streamer, Red Rose, to chuckle and commiserate about this very topic. Laughter abounds as we swap tales from the tranquil times before kids, comparing them to our current, anything-but-peaceful lives. Our conversation brings the daily antics of our little ones into sharp relief, from creative wall art to the suspicious silence that often heralds the latest household catastrophe. 

Parenting isn't just about cleaning up the latest mess; it's about navigating the unique personalities our children bring into the world, and managing their behavior in and out of the house. Rose and I dissect the Jekyll and Hyde nature of kids who transform from public angels to homebound whirlwinds, and we get real about the generous (if not overindulgent) influences of doting grandparents. Meanwhile, we swap strategies on outwitting our offspring in the perpetual game of hide-and-seek with our favorite snacks and setting up chore systems that sometimes work (and sometimes...don't).

Rounding off this parental rollercoaster, we delve into the more profound aspects of shaping young minds, from instilling values and encouraging good behavior to recognizing the echoes of our childhood in our parenting styles. Our musings on the pressures and joys of fatherhood, along with Rose's wisdom, make for an episode that's as cathartic as it is entertaining. So, dear listener, whether you're a seasoned pro at the dad game or still figuring out which way the diaper goes on, we're here to remind you: you're not alone, and the controller stays firmly in our hands. Tune in, have a laugh, and remember to hit follow for more Dad Mode adventures.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Stand by, stand by Switching from Human Mode to Dad Mode, initializing Sequence in 3, 2, 1. This is Dad Mode, the podcast where we navigate the chaotic realms of parenting, gaming, content creation, work and hell, just life in general. We're diving into the challenges of raising kids in the digital age, from social media madness to navigating the gaming landscape. We're talking about it all, especially from a dad's perspective. Whether it's conquering the littest game, creating content that's more than just a hobby, or just trying to keep up with the ever-changing tech landscape, we're right there with you. We want to help you navigate this wild journey of parenthood and modern life, from balancing family time to managing your career and still squeezing in some gaming and content creation. It's all about fun, some dad wisdom and a whole lot of dad mode. Now your hosts Bearded Nova and more.

Speaker 2: 1:24

Welcome back to Dad Mode. We're here with Red Rose. Sword Rose is only the second mom we've ever had on Dad Mode, so it's interesting for us to hear a different perspective. Rose, how are you? How are you doing? How are you doing yourself? I'm doing great. We're here with Bearded Nova as well.

Speaker 3: 1:44

Bearded is doing good.

Speaker 2: 1:44

I'm great. I don't think this one is easier to edit than the other one, Thank you. I have no ADHD meds today, so you are Go, go, go go, I hated it Anyway.

Speaker 2: 1:58

So, even though I said I didn't like to start the episode this way, because I've done it three times before as a stay-at-home mom, as a content creator and a streamer, you have a lot of things going on and while your kids are young and you've been doing a lot of this stuff since your kids have been born we talked a little bit last time about how you get time to do it like that hobby.

Speaker 4: 2:28

I'm so glad I didn't hit the spacebar.

Speaker 2: 2:32

I'm curious in general. Wow, okay, I lost my train of thought. I'm curious in general. I can do it.

Speaker 4: 2:41

I didn't hit the spacebar. I like what's happening here. No, no, no. I need to sit in here. I need to watch Rose's shot. Look at that.

Speaker 2: 2:52

Well, she has an action Ma'am. Anyone who lives in the home road is in the office with her husband who is playing a game, and she is shooting them with a Nerf dart gun. So anyway, actually that's my channel too, what I was trying to say is so before you had kids, you think about your life then, like how have things changed, not just in like your day-to-day, but like in the dynamic of things that you're doing, like how has that changed you?

Speaker 3: 3:29

Can you repeat that question?

Speaker 2: 3:31

I sure can. So you know, think about your time before kids, and now you have your two young children, one in school, one not. How has life changed, or how have you changed as a person since you've had kids?

Speaker 3: 3:48

Before I had kids, I was actually working crazy hours all the time and I was going to school. It took me five years to get a two-year degree in IT and it was nice, very relaxing, I gotta say. Even with the crazy hours, it was relaxing compared to having two small kids running around. Something's always going wrong. Now, Like I don't know how better to say that Just something's always going wrong.

Speaker 4: 4:20

You mean like you're not a parent, unless there's a burning building behind you.

Speaker 3: 4:23

Yeah, exactly, this is fine.

Speaker 4: 4:26

It's fine, I'm doing fine.

Speaker 2: 4:30

Parents always use a joke of oh, if it's quiet, I need to know what's going on. It's not a joke. If you have children and it's quiet, you know something is very wrong. Hopefully, like, they're just trying to cover up something. Hopefully one of them isn't trying to bury the body of the other one, but it could be anything in between those two extremes.

Speaker 3: 4:53

They're not asleep, that's for sure I'm actually waiting another six months before I decide to clean the walls of my house because for some reason my youngest doesn't want to color on paper. She wants to color on the walls.

Speaker 1: 5:08

We have collected all the markers, all the crayons, all the colored pencils.

Speaker 4: 5:12

Just keep coming down, no way.

Speaker 3: 5:14

Yes, so my oldest daughter's room, the back of her door, all of her walls my youngest did my oldest room, my youngest did her room, my living room, my staircase, and we've been like, look, you can't do this. We've had her clean it, we've scrubbed it. Like, no matter what we do, it's just like. A few weeks later she starts coloring on something again.

Speaker 4: 5:40

Interesting to this is my oldest is the only one that drew on walls, up until the point that I want to say 12.

Speaker 3: 5:53

Don't say that yeah.

Speaker 4: 5:55

But you got like really tactical with her writing Like we were moving when we moved from rural back into town. We're cleaning out the house and there was like little marks and stuff on the walls and my head, that's yours, and that inside her cupboard behind her clothes. She'd like push the clothes out of the way and then written her name with love hearts on the wall and like is this yours? That's mad, this is sure she gets. No, I wouldn't have done that. I'm like, of course, one of the brothers, the sisters, has walked into your room, moved your clothes and drawn on your own wall Like yeah.

Speaker 2: 6:31

So sounds like your youngest is going to learn how to paint this segment not brought to you by Shorewind Williams Right? So she's going to learn a good skill.

Speaker 3: 6:41

Yeah, something like that. She's also very sneaky. She has taken so they don't get the tablets when they go to bed. She will take my oldest daughter's tablet and a couple hours before bedtime, go and stash it in her room and we don't notice until we go looking for the tablets. We've gotten good. When they go to bath time I go find the tablets and everything One time. So for Christmas my sister-in-law got her this monkey pillow and when you flip it over it has a place for you to put your tablet inside so she can hold it. She put her sister's tablet in there, flipped it over and put a blanket over her over it, so she would have it for bedtime as well, that is done.

Speaker 3: 7:33

That's more than a few times.

Speaker 2: 7:35

Right, you're going to have to watch out for that one.

Speaker 3: 7:37

Yes.

Speaker 2: 7:39

My oldest, youngest son. He has this thing of covertly watching you type in passwords. Oh really, make a habit of learning passwords. But the interesting thing is he's a very honest. He will come up to you not too long after that. The other day I'm making dinner, my wife comes home from work and he goes. Mom, you need to change your password.

Speaker 1: 8:04

I mean, you've seen my past.

Speaker 2: 8:06

I don't wish to, because it's XYZ. She's like thank you for telling me where to change it. I only do it to the older brothers, the older brothers, he knows this. He's like, just tell her you knew it, you can go to your room for lying. So, yeah, kids, kids are fun. That's one way to put it. I appreciate that you are being honest about that, because I've met people who just my children are perfect angels all of the time and I'm like I no longer can trust you, right.

Speaker 2: 8:43

Because you're a lot to me, bullshit.

Speaker 3: 8:47

Kids act their worst around the people they trust the most.

Speaker 2: 8:51

Yes, how about this? I'm sure you've gone to a parent-teacher thing at school and you said that. What do they say every single time?

Speaker 3: 8:59

You're kids and angels Hang out, open your.

Speaker 2: 9:01

They're a lot.

Speaker 3: 9:01

I wish I had 18 of them.

Speaker 2: 9:04

Yeah, so I usually say, you may have them.

Speaker 4: 9:10

My niece, uh, some of her sisters youngest, she's hot devil Would be the best way to put it Like and she's smart, very smart. She had a. She has hearing aids, right, so she really wants to throw a tantrum. She'll just take them out and say I can't hear you. And she's been able to do that since the age of like three, two or three she's been. She's only six, just started school and she actually doesn't talk to me at all. She refuses to be in the same room with me. She's she kind of like made this idea of this is what she was going to do a few years ago.

Speaker 3: 9:45

It's kind of just stuck to it.

Speaker 4: 9:46

Let me say you're welcome, like really well. But then she'll purposely go and interact with my wife or the kids and then look at me across the room like sucks, shit, you can't interact with me. And so she's really smart, really sarcastic, mean, I guess, in a way cruel. Some of the stuff that she says, you know, like I've decided to be naughty today and I'm not going to change my mind because that's what I've decided to do. Her teacher, on the other hand, turns around and goes oh, she's such perfect, she's fantastic. And apparently it seems to be only when she's around her mom, her dad, her brother or outside of the family that she's like this. So my sister's actually recording it for the next parent teacher meeting so she can come in and show that her, because the teachers just swear that she wouldn't be like that I'm with Rose on this.

Speaker 2: 10:38

Like I have heard that when your kids are like that or they're really well behaved in public or whatever, that now they're using the things that you taught them, but when they're home, like they feel comfortable to just be whatever crazy person of themselves they want to be because they feel safe to do it. You know you probably won't murder them.

Speaker 2: 10:59

So they feel comfortable doing that, but it's good. I mean, it is good to know that people do say, hey, they're great, they're whatever, they're helpful, because you're like, oh, some things I'm saying are sticking in your head when I say it. I'm doing a good job. So have you ever had? Is it so roses, like when your kids? Is it like I like that with it's just you and your husband, or is it like extended family? They start to behave more? Is there still just I'll do what I want, kind of thing?

Speaker 3: 11:39

Um, still a little crazy with, like my parents and my brother and his wife, but they're not nearly as bad as when they're at home and then get them to like church or get them to school or even out in public and they're the cutest little angels. They're so sweet. They're hugging each other. It's like this is my sister.

Speaker 4: 12:06

We love each other.

Speaker 3: 12:09

And then we get home and they're wrestling on the floor. My youngest actually has scratches on her stomach right now from rug burn where they were wrestling each other.

Speaker 1: 12:18

Oh, wow.

Speaker 3: 12:21

Yeah, no, when I say wrestling, they're like actually wrestling each other. One of them will occasionally scream mom, she's sitting on me, I can't get up.

Speaker 2: 12:31

Yeah, yeah, my youngest is. He's small, Like he's 10 years old. He's just about 60 pounds. He is a little guy and my 12 year old is five now. Yeah, he passed. My wife was five one a few months ago and he's already at five five and he can pick up the little guy and toss him a just a little distance, which I saw once and said stop doing that because you're going to break his neck. But when they wrestle like I think he's much bigger than his brother, like so much bigger, I'm like stop. Like this looks wrong, you know.

Speaker 4: 13:22

I teach that to a son because he was like once they started to get real, like wrestling boy, like a boy boy, and he's the only boy there's no, there's no other brother to do that with. So he tried moving that games into the sisters, like, no, you can't, you can't, you can't do these games with your sister, so this is just not where they don't want to do that. That's not their style. Stop trying to get them to fight you. You know, out in the yard with sticks and swords and stuff, like because it's not a light game, he's smashing the crap out of it, thinking you know they're going to go just as hard as what he is. Does he want to do with that? No, because I'll win.

Speaker 2: 14:02

No, my, my, that's what he does. Like they were. They were. My oldest said hey, let's arm wrestle. I'm like you're like a giant compared to him. Yeah, and so he he's. He's like give me a real challenge, give me. I'm watching on my phone, I'm like I also. I'm like, all right, let's go. No, no, no, no, no, I'm done.

Speaker 4: 14:21

Yeah, my son started playing basketball and in competition like in clubs and that, and he's was playing with sisters at the park and he gets a bit. It gets a bit pushy, a bit showoffy, I guess, in front of I try to show how good he was. So I went down there and I really just checked him, just blocked him and just let him round right in me. I'm like, what do you do? I just bump it into it with my hands out Like I'm not even touching you. I'm not even touching you. I just really put that pressure on him into a court until he got frustrated with me. I said see, you can't do that. You can't do that man. There's always someone bigger and arsia.

Speaker 2: 14:56

It was two, two summers ago, my oldest, who played basketball in school, was talking a lot about like let's go, old man, kind of thing. Like like all right, well, let's go outside and we'll play. And I don't like I'm not a participation trophy guy, I don't just let you win. And I didn't let him win, he. But at the end of it he was crying because he and the bad thing is like my leg, I back, hurt a lot, and so like I had to just go inside because like I was a little bit of pain, but it looked like I just walked off as he's crying. I do a damn control. My wife's like why did you? I'm like my back hurts. Oh well, go talk to him when you feel better, because really really upset. So I mean he learned a lesson, but Still, like I did feel a little bad afterwards.

Speaker 4: 15:52

Do you find your children turn it up for grandparents Like the whole, and then the grandparents encourage it like they're doing something ridiculous that you know at harm, like Like I say my niece, and that my mom, I swear, kind of encourages it like the she's the me ma, that just let's them do what they want whenever they want. And I'm looking at like why you like this, you weren't like this for me. You know the kids it's, it's nuggets and chips and whatever they want. All you know you want to have ice cream for breakfast, that's fine, we'll do that.

Speaker 4: 16:26

One of my children came home once after being there for a few days and I'm like, oh, did you eat any fruit? Well, you were there and she turned around to me and said, oh yeah, cordial is fruit, isn't it? Cordial has fruit in it which is like a cordial. It's like kind of like Kool-Aid, I guess. Okay, that's the best way to put it. So she, that's all. She drunk, basically at me, mars, not, not water, or had any fruit. It was just okay. Well, you know, I drank an orange flavored Kool-Aid. So that counts as fruit, doesn't it Jesus? What, mom? What do you do this? What do you do this?

Speaker 3: 17:02

My mom has a special pocket in her purse and it's called the grandma pocket and it is filled with candy, like pretty much any kind of candy you can imagine. She's got in there and she will give it to the kids and she will sneak them bubblegum Every single night.

Speaker 2: 17:21

I have said to my mom one more than one occasion like why didn't I get any of this stuff, like none of this Right? So now I Can't wait to my boys have families. I want their department so I can destroy them. But then I want them to have children so I can just give them so much sugar, so much sugar.

Speaker 4: 17:45

I'm looking forward. That their mom and dad say they can't watch yeah, I'm looking forward to my children having their own place, just so I can go over Ransack it eat just randomly what I want out of the fridge and covered, just make it best and then go see you later and walk home. But that's that's. That's the point of my life, that I can't wait for my kids to get to. Yeah, just where I can destroy and leave.

Speaker 2: 18:07

You leave it on the counter. Yeah, you leave the kid. You leave the fridge open. You leave your shoes on the floor. You leave, like my son does like to do leave his socks on the kitchen counter all over time. Um, I could go on, but I don't need to. But, yeah, I can't, I can't wait.

Speaker 3: 18:26

My kids have started sneaking into my chocolate. Um, it's the frere Roche chocolate. That's like the only thing that I get for myself.

Speaker 4: 18:36

My wife is exactly the same. It's the same chocolate too. That's her chocolate.

Speaker 3: 18:40

Yeah, actually the reason I look down.

Speaker 2: 18:47

Yeah, so my wife keeps. Uh, she has, was this like a wife thing, like she has her own chocolates in her nightstand.

Speaker 3: 18:56

Yep, I used to have them there.

Speaker 2: 18:58

TV all of a sudden here like crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. I'm like what are you doing? She's like nothing. I have a shelf.

Speaker 3: 19:06

I used to have mine in my nightstand. I used to keep it in the pantry. I used to keep it in my computer desk. Like my kids, they will search it out.

Speaker 4: 19:14

I'll just put it up high. That's all what I do in my house. Like that, that top area, anything up there, is mine and all the kids now know not to touch my stuff because I might buy like a packet of Doritos or something that I'll have there for me watching tv later, and they've got their own little, you know kid sized packets or something. Then randomly At one stage the kids would go oh, I'm going to use that packet up the top, until the point that I got really cranky that when I get home from work and then there is no chips for me. So everyone's kind of learned that that shelves my shelf now like don't, don't touch what's up there.

Speaker 3: 19:48

Put it up high and five, we tell. My kids get a skull and they can reach what I can reach.

Speaker 4: 19:56

But you're shorter than my wife. Try and try.

Speaker 3: 19:59

I like to say I have five one, but yeah no. I think you've seen me.

Speaker 2: 20:04

She's apparently five one and a half, and god help me if I say she's five one, she's like and a half. Yep, she. Uh, honey, you don't sound like that. I was just, you know, showing off for my friends women are feisty when you get something wrong. Yeah, and why? Why do you guys think that you're as big as everybody else?

Speaker 4: 20:28

I'm like there we go. Thank you, I was on it.

Speaker 2: 20:33

I was already like she's like blah, blah, blah, blah, and like we'll stand there and store window and I'm like this much taller than her, like nine inches, I'm like I'm like you see how much smaller you are. She's like it doesn't matter.

Speaker 3: 20:46

It's quite funny when somebody sees me with tornan. He's six three.

Speaker 1: 20:51

Oh, my so.

Speaker 3: 20:52

Yes, but that's okay. But I'm the one in charge of the relationship, like I'm the one that will go, girl, and he'll just go along with it. Yeah, he's like.

Speaker 2: 21:01

Right there and he's. He will not say anything right now.

Speaker 4: 21:05

I don't even think he heard me. He's the german shepherd and you're the chihuahua in it. That's the one you really want to watch, the one the botch intent it heals yeah um.

Speaker 2: 21:18

So One issue that we have around ours. I don't know how everybody else does it, but, um, we, we give our kids allowance for chores around the house, and my wife has a problem with that because, like you know, when we have the house and she's like you do this, I'll do this. I have made sure that their chores are the stuff that I'm supposed um and they're done. Maybe poorly is a not even an appropriate word, but that's not my point. My point is.

Speaker 2: 21:55

Uh, do you do make your children do chores around the house and uh, how does that go?

Speaker 3: 22:02

Well, my kids are still a little too young to do too much, but they, um, I do remind them, hey, beat the dog. They have great fun feeding the dog, giving him water, letting him in and out of the house to go potty, but that's pretty much the only chores they have right now. Okay, um, we were gonna start giving my daughter like a quarter every time you see the dog and then it took so long to get quarters that she forgot.

Speaker 3: 22:29

So now we have $20 worth of quarters sitting there Waiting for her to remember that, hey, we're supposed to give her a quarter right, one of our childs she's all over it when it comes to Pokemon has get $5 a week, so it's a $20 mark.

Speaker 4: 22:45

Plus there's their phone. Like both of them, all of them got phones and that's, you know, $25 a month or something on top of my contract, like. So, realistically, their jobs are helping pay for their, their phone, because to me they don't need it all the time. And yeah, one of our youngest. She actually is a stickler for the money, but she's an accountant in her head. She will remind you the moment you haven't paid her or if you shorted her or she's used some money before Getting paid as well. She'll know how much is left. Like she's great for the accuracy.

Speaker 4: 23:20

However, coming into a preteen, she's now got this attitude of I just forget to do my jobs but doesn't forget to remind you to pay up. So I'm actually becoming the the evil one in the house, I guess by showing around and going. Have you done this job yet? No, well, you're not. You know I'm not paying you if you know you're losing five bucks this week because you haven't done. You know Haven't done it when you need it to my wife, she likes to turn around Tell me. Well, you can't keep telling her that because you don't do some of the things around the house. When you say you're going to to what I say yeah, I'm not asking for money when I do these things around the house, there's a big difference. I'm not getting paid for it, I just have to do it for nothing. But yeah, that's one thing. My kids do it. Just Give me the money, give me the money. Now the oldest has their own job.

Speaker 2: 24:13

She doesn't really care treat it like Like among us, like if you don't finish your tasks you will get yeeted out of the house. You just lay it out there.

Speaker 4: 24:29

That's a fair way to look at it.

Speaker 2: 24:32

You know. But yeah, I have to work on my kids with the quality of the work, because it's not just that they, they finish it and Then they're like I'm done on my cold and my wife looks at it. She's like now you have to go in and clean up after what they tried to do.

Speaker 4: 24:50

I guess you get what you pay for yeah, I'm sort of our job though the kids do ain't bad, it's keep your room clean, like that's realistic, the clean room. I don't want to see dirty clothes spread on the floor, on the bed, like, just put it in the basket, launch your basket. It's not that hard. One does the recycling and one does general rubbish, like when that gets full, run it out again. That's one of the ones that the younger one chose recycling and then it's overfilling and then, hey, you're not doing the recycling when you're meant to. And the other two jobs they got One does the bathroom twice a week, just keeps their bathroom clean, and the other one, the younger one, she does the toilets, like our toilet and her toilet.

Speaker 4: 25:33

She only has to do that twice a week, but that all that means is run past. Do the toilets need toilet rolls? Stack them back up? That's, that's really her. You know. The job that she does twice a week is make sure it doesn't run out toilet paper, and that's the one that I catch her out on the most, because it'll get to the end of the week, like this Sunday, and there's been no toilet paper. There's one roll left in the each bathroom and I know that she hasn't done it halfway through the week because if she had done that, then it'd be constantly full, like you'd never run out.

Speaker 2: 26:04

That that's where we're at in jobs in my house something else that was coming to mind too was my kids are 12 and 10. Now I've noticed that you know they have very distinct personalities, as you would, I guess you would expect, although I don't know, I was an only child, I didn't know how any of the siblings stuff work, but but it's interesting. Like one of them is very much like my wife that's weird. And Another one is apparently very much like me, but which my wife finds hilarious because I'm like, why is he so sarcastic and stubborn and procrastinating? And she's like because he's like you. I Do. You see, rose? Do you see like that dynamic in your house at all? I know your kids are young, but their personalities are forming.

Speaker 3: 26:50

Their personalities are so completely different. My oldest, she is me and every bit of the way she is me. She looks like me, she acts like me, she is a goody-tooth shoes. She will tell on you which I had to order, brother. So of course I've told on everybody, right? Um, I Was the sneaky little sister. I was an angel, but no, I was a sneaky little sister. Um, do?

Speaker 3: 27:19

you know the sneaky one, yes, but that's what my oldest is. My youngest is a complete Dairy Devil. She doesn't care what you have to say, like my dad and I were looking at. I told you we had to get a new car.

Speaker 1: 27:36

Well, we brought it home today. My dad and I were right outside.

Speaker 3: 27:38

We saw her at the front door. She was crying. All right time to go back in. She can't get out of the house. Like we're sitting right there at the front door we can't find her and we're calling for and searching the house and it took two or three minutes for me to find her and it was only when she poked Her head out over the edge of the chair. It's just like you were crying and then you go and hide and we're yelling for you and you don't come out. Like what in the world? And that's her personality. Yeah, I'm gonna cry at the drop of a hat, but then I'm gonna go and run into a door. I'm gonna go jump off the couch.

Speaker 3: 28:15

She's been using the dining room chairs to climb over a half wall into another one of our rooms and it's just like why? Like what is what is going on? But she's so there's. They're their own people. They really are. They are completely different. I Want to say my youngest acts like my husband. I Do, but I think she has more attitude than she does At this point. She definitely has more at it.

Speaker 4: 28:50

My wife constantly says oh, six month old looks like me and in a bad way, Like constantly, like if I'm pissed off, she's, she's already adapted my and I'm not, so it's pissed off by. It's like a resting bitch face or a rest. You know that she's adapted that face of mine. Where we can do is both be sitting there staring and it just looks like we're both pissed off at the world. There's actually nothing going on and my wife constantly is like she's, she's just doing the. You think You're resting bearded face.

Speaker 4: 29:21

Yeah, exactly the other one, though I've taught I think I brought this up the other week there's always the bad kid at daycare. I don't know if it's also the. She starts daycare on Monday and she's only gone there two times a week. But yeah, we went and did like to stay at play, hang around the room for a little bit and all the kids were really good. So we left and I said to wife that's weird, there's always a bad kid. Is our child going to be that bad child? And it was just a joke, but nothing serious about it. We left, that was fine.

Speaker 4: 29:56

A couple of days later my wife went to the second one and the next thing, you know, she puts her daughter on the rug on the mat. She rolls across the mat to another child, starts eating her hand by biting her hand and then, when she's told no, she rolls the opposite direction to another child, starts doing it to him. She's pulled him away from the kids. It's like no, you can't do that, Sit there. And another little kids come over and start touching it. Well, she starts growling like a dog, Like just really working yourself up. She's got to call me like great, it's our child, it is our child, Our child's that one it's.

Speaker 4: 30:31

Even this morning my wife is. She slept in. I had her up for a bit and then she's taken over after breakfast because she's a mess. You know. Cereal, everything's all over her face and they're going to the bathroom and all you can hear is this she's like what the hell is going on? I don't understand why you're doing this. You're being you know what's going on. You're stensing your whole body and growling and I've had to come in and go. Have you started taking her clothes off? She goes yeah, I'm like you got to pretend to like eat her, like you're. You know you're another or she's an animal, Just like. Be rough with her. That's what she, that's what her growling means is like I want to wrestle and I want to get rough, that's. I've already still that in my daughter as five months, five, six months old. My wife can't handle it Like she's a little girl. She's not meant to be active like this. I'm like I'm sorry, it's where I've gone with it.

Speaker 3: 31:23

It happens.

Speaker 2: 31:24

Someone has someone to play sticks with.

Speaker 4: 31:26

Yeah, he's passed that now he's all passed High school To be cool for that stuff.

Speaker 3: 31:32

They need random things. You teach your kids without realizing it. It is astounding.

Speaker 2: 31:38

It is like a nature and nurture thing. Right, like it I. I see these habits in both of my sons, but mainly my older one, and I'm like why? Why is the ACME like that? And then I realized, oh, that's what I do and I'm like I don't like that. I mean, wait, other people are not like that when I do those kind of things and it makes me learn a little bit about myself and maybe things that I wanna change. And hopefully, if I change a behavior, they'll see that I'm doing something different and maybe they'll change their behavior too, because they're young enough to where you know they can change it before it becomes just part of the personality. Hopefully, hopefully.

Speaker 1: 32:24

Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully.

Speaker 2: 32:28

You're gonna pick up other bad habits.

Speaker 2: 32:30

They will, they will. Language is one of them. Like we've talked, beard and I have talked a little bit about this too. Like my wife and I, we don't really swear around them Like I work. Like Rose, you've been enough of my streams to know that I have a very hard time not swearing, but I work really hard around kids and I don't Like I think the worst I usually say is sucks right. Sometimes, like I'll say, other words will come out, but my wife has, oddly enough, harder time withholding when she gets mad at something. She's not swearing at kids like a work thing, right, what the heck? You know, whatever you have to be sure you don't have to work tomorrow, you know. But they come out and they say words that like we've never said and I'm like, oh, it's your friend at school, like school, like it starts to undermine, like part of what you do at home. And now I'm getting anxiety because you're going to be sending your you're both your kids to school fairly soon, although preschool, kindergarten, like they're not hearing much at all.

Speaker 3: 33:32

But Not too much yet, yeah.

Speaker 2: 33:34

Yeah, it is. It is crazy. Last thing I'll say before I turn I want to ask, I want you to comment on that beard, it is my. We live in a small town and so there's two towns and like the middle school and the high school because it's just not enough kids and they one bus company and for middle school is like sixth and seventh and eighth grade and high school is nine through 12. But because there's so few buses, they wanted to bus everyone together. So they wanted my 10 year old, who was 10, going to 11 and sixth grade, to be bused with the high school kids Last over it could be 17 or potentially 18. And I'm like, no, like. So for the first, for sixth grade, we bought, we drove him and picked him up, cause I'm like I don't want my 10 slash 11 year old with a high school senior, like the corporations that they're going to have in a high school senior. I don't want my little kid knowing, I don't want him hearing that stuff yet Like I'm sure I've been stuck here for years.

Speaker 2: 34:40

Kids of all ages. You've dealt with that kind of stuff.

Speaker 4: 34:43

Yeah, I guess it could be the Australian in me. Swearing isn't really turned down ever anywhere here there's parents that'll say they don't swear in front of children, they're full of shit. They guarantee they have it one stage. That's down here, not over there, but that's down here. We're talking. You know, the opposite side of the world. Everything's crazy. It's not really well hard time picking it.

Speaker 4: 35:15

But oddly enough, a lot of children don't swear. You do get kids depending on where they're growing up. You know they might swear, but most of our children, in particular ours, don't swear. Like a lot of kids don't swear, maybe with a couple of their friends, but they won't swear in front of an adult. It's just like an unspoken rule as such that kids do. So I don't really care about the crossover. Like our high school is grade 12, fruit grade seven. Now that's all, that's all. That's high school and then primary school's six, fruit of prep. So seven years there. So one school, two schools.

Speaker 4: 35:52

So you got yeah, seven to 12. And then that's just high school.

Speaker 2: 35:58

The age range like 11 to 17. Yeah, 18.

Speaker 4: 36:03

Actually, some kids are 18 when they finish school here. Yeah, wow, because they work off a financial calendar, but they do separate them at school. Essentially. That's the year 11 area. That's the year 12. That's the year 10.

Speaker 4: 36:17

So you know there's crossover, obviously on ovals and you know I want to say cafeterias, basically called a tuck shop. That's crossover there. I guess kids can part, but most of the time like they've got their own areas that don't really cross too bad, but it doesn't really bother us. But they cross over, particularly younger grades. That's the only time we really care, you know, because kids are trying to learn their own. You know, like I'm saying brothers and sisters, you know some can be really rough and you know, not used to younger kids, in younger school the preffees are by themselves and then it might be prep in grade one and then grade one and grade two, two and three, like they really separate the little kids in primary school.

Speaker 4: 37:05

But high school don't care, they can do what they want. I just hope that I've taught my children enough that they know what's right and wrong so they don't have to. Yeah, I trust I do not do. I mean I do trust what my kids are going to do and the decisions they make, because I feel like I've done a good job as a parent, that they're going to make those right decisions and if they do fail or they do make those wrong decisions, they'll be able to look back at it and realize what went wrong or what they could have done better.

Speaker 2: 37:33

I mean, that's all that we can really hope for as parents is that we try to teach them the right thing so that when they get out there they're going to make the right decisions. Because you know, the reality is by the time they're 17, 18, you know, they're maybe either they're going off to work or they're going off to school, but whatever it is, they're probably not going to be around you nearly as much. Like when I got my license at 16, we've talked about the four bearded I was a ghost. Like I got my license, I borrowed our car at 16. I would say, hey, on Friday night, I'll see you on Sunday evening, and apparently that was okay. I would never let my kids do that now. I would just laugh at them.

Speaker 2: 38:13

But you know, my mom just had to trust that I was going to make the right decisions when I was out there.

Speaker 2: 38:20

So you know, you just got to try to teach them the right things. Like you know, I spoke with this too. Like I spent the first 17 and a half years of my life like multiple times a week was something church related or the youth group or the scout thing or some kind of sport or youth group kind of thing. So, you know, my mom felt like I was getting learning the right things to make the right decisions as I became an adult, you know. And so when you kind of you know, calling back to what we were talking about, mostly when you go to those parent, teacher things and the parents and the teachers are like, oh, your kids, they're a joy, a delight to have in class, whatever ridiculous thing they say, you got to think, well, maybe what we're doing at home, maybe it's working right, because if this is what they're showing, this is what they feel like they have to show outside of the house, then they are listening.

Speaker 2: 39:16

They do know right from wrong and how to treat someone with respect, using some manners, even though those concepts seem to slip completely away when they're old.

Speaker 3: 39:26

They don't belong in the house, apparently.

Speaker 4: 39:30

I get the same thing when they go stay at friends' houses. Oh, I love having them over. They can come over anytime they want. They're so great being here.

Speaker 3: 39:38

Nice as kids, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4: 39:42

Why are your kids like that, when they?

Speaker 2: 39:44

come to my house, right, right. The other thing that I started to become a lot more aware of in the last year probably is my relationship with my wife. Right, because I feel I'm starting to realize I have to model like how I should treat my wife and what kind of relationship we have, because I want to show them what a healthier relationship looks like. Right, I don't want to be yelling or being rude or not doing the things I'm supposed to do, because I don't want them to think this is how you treat somebody else. You know what I mean, and so there's so much pressure being apparent. It's not just like making sure that this thing doesn't die for the first 18 years of its life. It's trying to be a better version of yourself than you've probably ever been.

Speaker 3: 40:42

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 40:44

And all that stuff. It hopes that you raise a good member of society who is going to go out and be a good member and raise their own family.

Speaker 4: 40:53

I think getting out of there is exactly what we do as parents is try and raise a better version of ourselves. That's what I do.

Speaker 3: 41:04

Be the role model that you needed when you were a kid.

Speaker 4: 41:07

Exactly.

Speaker 2: 41:08

So, yes, yes, yes, which is hard because there's no handbook that comes with this. I didn't have my father was not around when I was born up, so like I don't have that, I didn't have that real male role model. But like, so you just try to do what you do and you know everybody's like. Well, you know you're a crybaby. I'm like I will look. I have no idea what I'm doing. Every day I'm making this stuff up.

Speaker 3: 41:37

Every parent just makes it up as they're going like, okay, this works, that doesn't. This seems to. This is going to scar them. Let's not do that.

Speaker 2: 41:48

That kind of thing. All right, I am going to take off. Oh yeah, it's one of my mom's real early tomorrow morning. But thanks so much again for coming on, rose, yeah, Thank you.

Speaker 3: 41:59

This is nice, so thank you.

Speaker 1: 42:02

You've been listening to dad mode. Our passion is navigating this wild journey of parenthood and modern life, from balancing family time to managing your career and still squeezing in some gaming and content creation. And no matter what the women say, they will never be able to pry the controller out of our cold dead hands. Anyway, we hope you enjoyed the show. If you did find us on Twitter, tiktok and YouTube at dad mode podcast, and we can be found on every podcast site at dad mode podcast. Y'all be cool. See you next time.